I recently had a massive struggle with this. Trusting blinding can be a really difficult thing to do, so don’t fell guilty if you find it hard sometimes. All I can say is that we’ve been told that The Lord won’t let us be tempted more than we can bare and that when my faith was weaker than it had been since I first believed - and in the space of a minute God regained it all, and more would you believe. I felt so unneeded and unhelpful to my friends at school and didn’t understand why God wasn’t helping me to find new friends if I could do no good where I was. I was confused and it made me doubt God was there more than anything had ever done before. I was scared and my faith just kept getting weaker and weaker and I didn’t understand why God wasn’t doing anything about it. I kept praying because I knew that if he was then he was always listening - though no answer came. I had to come home from school twice, just cause I was in such despair from thinking that maybe God didn’t exist after all.
And then… (there is alway an and then with God, don’t forget that) one of my friends popped up on text and said “are you ok?” which I replied to rather meanly -“You were saying you were going to commit suicide 3 weeks ago and after you told us nothing, I’d like to tell you what’s going on with me, but if your not prepared to open up to me I don’t really feel like I want to anymore. I’ve been telling you stuff for years and you’ve given me not that much about you back, and clear your not okay either really. I’ll tell if you’ll tell, and I’m sorry to ask that of you but I don’t believe it’s doing you any good not telling anyone and the sooner you do the sooner you’ll be more fine. I sat there with Rebecca wondering if you were dead, wishing I tried to make you open up more and I don’t want to carry on making that mistake.”
Then she said that she was sorry she hadn’t told me stuff before and we got talking about her. Then as we talked more and more I realised her absolute need for Christ. If your Christian you’ll understand as well as I do the absolute truth that God changes people for the better. I knew she needed that.
And the suddenly it all clicked back - So I am needed, which means I’m not useless where I am, which means God hasn’t left me, which means he does exist! It was one of the best moments of my life. Thank for saving me again God. God bless my beautiful followers.